What Are We Going to Do?

This will probably be the first in a number of posts I may end up writing about this subject, over time, and I'm hoping that feedback will be plentiful - because this isn't just about me and my story, it's about the millions of others who are out there - sisters who, unfortunately, have had the issue of SA affect their life in traumatic ways.

What are we going to do....

For the women who are struggling to make sense of things - finding  themselves in a world that they never even knew existed?

For the women who were just blindsided by their SA's disclosure, and are so reeling from the shock of it, they can't even tell you what they need?

For the women who have had enough of empty promises from their SA, but don't know what to do?

For the women who know things aren't good, and that they should leave their SA (at least for a little while), but have no where to go?

For the women who choose to leave their unchanging, un-recovering SA, and are now forced into living life as a single mom?

For the women whose SA's acting out has crossed the legal line, and now find themselves stranded without a partner/husband/father, and can't make it on their own?

What are we going to do?

Where do we start?

Well, that's where the feedback part that I'm hoping for comes in.  Because I have a vision.  I have a passion to see a place - a center, if you will, where the needs of these stories, and more, can be met.  So, as I begin to try to formulate the whats and whys and hows; as I try to put into words the impact such a place would have in the lives of partners (to possible financial backers) - I would love to have real stories; real experiences; real desires; real needs as my foundation.

SO, wherever you are at in your journey...

What has been most helpful to you?
What has been most damaging to you?
What do you wish you knew?
What questions would you have addressed/answered?

What do you wish you could have?  Or could do?

What form of help do you wish were more available?

What resources have you looked for, but not been able to find?

What was/is missing?

Why do PSAs (Partners of Sex Addicts) need specialized help?

How would these things make an impact on your healing?

How could you be better equipped to deal with the issues facing PSAs?

How could a center for PSAs help you rebuild your life in the wake of SA?

Would you be willing to share some of your answers to these questions?  Not only will it help me as I try to get more voices speaking to these questions, but I truly believe if we can look at our pain, and find some sort of purpose in it - that can be a big aspect of healing for us.  

And, I put this out there, too - do you know others who would want to help?  I'm talking men/women who would want to contribute - through connecting me to someone, or helping with fundraising, or volunteering their talent (web design, etc.), or ....  something to answer this question, "What are we going to do?"

I want to make sure I say this - IF you are at a place where you feel you have nothing to give - no worries.  Please - we are asking this question of each other as a means to be there for each other; don't let any shaming thoughts even play in your mind if you are in that place.  WE ALL have those seasons where we need to be the ones who are on the receiving end of help - not the giving.  I've been there.  There is no shame in admitting we are too broken to help others at the moment.  None.  The only thing I ask of you is if you would share with me, how could there be more help for you?  Maybe you would have the desire to answer some of the above questions.

There's so much to do; so much I see that is needed.  I look forward to hearing your thoughts.