Escaping - Healthy or Unhealthy? Self-Care, Part 3

As somewhat juvenile as it feels to admit it - I LOVE THE HUNGER GAMES TRILOGY!!!!!  Yes, I really do.  I've read the entire trilogy at least three times; I saw the first movie in the theater twice; I own the dvd, and have watched it at least two more times at home.  And I can't wait to see Catching Fire!!!

So, what does this have to do with self-care, you might ask?  

Sometimes, our mind and heart need a BREAK!  So often, most of what we do is consumed with "recovery" - either our "recovery" (I prefer the word, "healing") or our SA's - that we never get rest from it.  We talk with our partner about it; we talk with our friends and family about it; we talk with a therapist about it; when we pray, we talk to God about it; when we journal, we are journaling about it.... see what I mean?  It can be overwhelming and all consuming!

In fact, if we're not careful, we become completely obsessed with our and/or our partner's recovery, and things that can be healthy (see above list) actually become UNHEALTHY.  In our attempt to find peace, we embark on an endless pursuit of reading/talking/working on recovery related issues.  

So I propose that it's actually good for us, at times, to find an escape from it all.  Escape can be healthy or unhealthy, so let me clarify how I see the difference: 

Healthy Escape = a pause or a time out from our thoughts and emotions, with the intent to resume work on healing/recovery.
Unhealthy Escape = pushing away, shoving, or stopping our thoughts and emotions, without any intention/plan to resume our work.  I say unhealthy escape = denial.

Also, it should be noted, that healthy escape does NOT mean we put a pause on our boundaries, or making choices that are not concurrent with our beliefs/morals/etc.  That is DEFINITELY unhealthy.

What I'm talking about is finding a good book (or series of books) that will allow you, just for a time, to let your brain and heart relax.  Or maybe it's a TV show/series.  How about joining a site like luminosity, where you can spend time engaging your brain in games that enhance your brain function.  

Over the holiday last week, I took my kids to see "Frozen."  THIS is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about.  We laughed, and laughed, and laughed, and enjoyed a sweet story and amazing visual moments. (Honestly, this is one of the reasons I've enjoyed having kids - an excuse to see any and every Disney movie that interests me!)  For those two hours, I was pleasantly engrossed in this beautiful, animated, frozen world. The sadness of my husband's absence, the stress over financial difficulties, work - everything - was temporarily put on hold while I watched this movie.  And, as a bonus, I got to make a fun memory with my kids.  (They so loved the movie, they keep singing the songs, and were fighting over one of our snowmen decorations yesterday!)

The important thing to recognize when you are planning an "escape" activity, is that it needs to be something that will engage your mind.  Meaning, something like simply listening to music isn't really an escape - PLAYING an instrument, yes.  But in order for it to be an activity that is a healthy escape, your mind needs to not have a high likelihood of wandering back to your situation.  

Depending on where you are at in your journey, this may have to be an intentional activity.  You may not FEEL like reading a book, or watching a movie, or playing games on your computer.  I encourage you to make the time.  The break will do your heart and mind good.  

One word of warning - be mindful about escaping.  In balance, it can be a beneficial thing.  However, escaping can become an unhealthy coping method fairly quickly.  So, be intentional in returning to engaging in your healing/recovery work.  Return to your reading, journaling, praying, talking, etc.

I gave a few suggestions of things to do to escape that are healthy, engaging, and (fairly safe to say) non-triggering.  What are some things that you like to do to escape?  How do you give your heart and mind "breaks" from the work and trauma?  I would love to hear your thoughts/comments.

I hope you find some fun things, and are even able to make some good memories "escaping" this month!  I know I will.  Catching Fire, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, and The Grinch are just a few movies on my list over the next few weeks!  

As always, if you need someone to talk to, you can find me at www.PULSEAustin.org